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[shok_ebasit_hissra]

It was late when he texted Dorian, just to warn the mage that he was on his way home. He'd promised he would; some nights it wasn't an issue, but Bull just had a feeling when he left the Bramford earlier. He hadn't been wrong, apparently. He took the elevator, even if he didn't trust it, because he'd taken a bad blow to his left leg and the idea of walking up all the stairs proved more daunting.

He leaned on the wall as he went down the hall and let himself into his apartment. He liked that Dorian spent the night; he liked that Dorian spent the night even when Bull had to work. It would be just as easy for Dorian to get an undisturbed night of sleep in his own apartment, but he was always there. Bull liked seeing him, asleep and relaxed and somehow taking up three quarters of the massive bed.

Bull landed on the bed more heavily than he meant to and he hissed, teeth grit against the pain. He breathed through it; it wasn't the worst pain he'd ever had. He was annoyed that it had slowed him up at all. Bull leaned down to work the brace loose, to take it off so he could remove his boots, at last. He might not bother changing for bed.

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[shok_ebasit_hissra]

"Dorian, you should be sleeping," he murmured, sounding just a bit guilty as he held Dorian against him, intent on keeping him warm. He kissed Dorian's hair.

"I have a shift, but I'll call out. I'm no use to anyone if this leg stays stiff."

He was quiet for a moment, then said, "You said you weren't really sleeping. What was keeping you up?"

[propertool]

"Shush," he said. "That's why coffee was invented."

He was quiet as well, after Bull asked. Dorian wanted to give himself a chance to come up with a response that wouldn't possibly cause a late night argument. One that wouldn't make Bull worry too much. For he did. He worried about so much. He worried about demons. And perhaps now most of all, he worried about Dorian.

"Summer is demon season. Must be all that fetid swelter. The weather gets too warm, people get cranky. The Veil is ... very thin here. I'm sure it doesn't surprise you, considering all the rumors about this building. Another reason I'm eager to move."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

There wasn't much Dorian could have said that would make Bull more eager to move than that. He'd had his own rough experiences in the Bramford not long after he arrived, but that had been a different kind of spirit. Bull had finally met Noah face to face in October, but by then Dorian had put wards - or whatever - all over his apartment.

"Mmm, good reason," he rumbled, cranky about that idea. But there wasn't anything he could do about it; he wouldn't be upset to move out, that was for sure. "Just be careful," he said quietly. "I know you are, I know. But I'm saying it anyway."

[propertool]

"I know the dangers better than anyone," Dorian said, not as a rebuff, but an assurance. He kissed Bull in the center of the chest, and rested his head there. He had to admit, much as they all teased Bull, his bare chest was very comfortable to rest on.

"It's just a little tense in the Fade, tonight. Feels like there's a nightmare lingering out there somewhere. I was trying to avoid it; literally and figuratively. So I was just skirting the edge of sleep. If it keeps up, we can always just demand a sleepover at Cremisius' place in High Gate. I'm sure that 'my mage is worried he might poke a hole in the Veil' is an excuse he would pay attention to."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

Bull brushed his fingers through Dorian's hair, over the back of his neck and then up again, cradling his head gently. "Stay with me," he murmured. Maybe it was a strange thing to say, but he'd seen nightmares now, and he didn't want Dorian running into one. He couldn't stand the thought of him being attacked in the Fade, where Bull couldn't protect him.

He huffed a quiet laugh. "Krem would get a kick out of that. Both of us sleeping at his place to avoid demons... and yes, I think he'd begrudgingly accept that excuse."

[propertool]

"I'm not afraid. Just ... utilizing an abundance of caution. If Solas were still here, things would be a bit different. He knew a spell that could strengthen the Veil, at least temporarily. I never could get the hang of it, when he showed me. Pity ... you know, his style was very similar to my family's. Apparently, my ancestors stole most of their techniques from the Elves at some point."

Dorian realized what he was doing, and who he was doing it to, and laughed a little guiltily before grabbing Bull by the hand and threading their fingers together.

His expression turned plotting.

"I'll stay with you. Maybe I'll even see if I can't pay you a visit. Ensure we both have very good dreams."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

Bull grumbled something at the mention of Solas. "That guy never quite sat right with me," he said. He'd kept that opinion mostly to himself while he was with the Inquisition, but he'd written home about it plenty.

Solas was hiding something, just like Blackwall was hiding something. But he didn't know what it was. He hated that.

He squeezed Dorian's hand as their fingers laced together, gently reassuring. He blinked and tried to look at Dorian's face. "Can you do that?"

[propertool]

"If we're in the same room together. And with a bit of lyrium. Yes."

He smiled at Bull, a smile calculated to look harmless, comforting. He was, in a way, admitting to a greater capability, one that most certainly could have been used unethically. Provided Dorian had a few less scruples.

He was, fortunately, possessed of more scruples than was always convenient.

"You've never talked about this with a mage, have you? No. You wouldn't have. On account of the mouths sewn shut bit."

There was Dalish, of course, but it was hard to discuss being a mage with someone who insisted that you were imagining things.

"Have you ever had a lucid dream? The sort where you realize you're dreaming, and if you try hard enough, you can even control it a bit? For me, it's like that every night. Add some lyrium to the mix, and, well. The more lyrium, the more control, the more other dreams you can Fadewalk to."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

"That's not fair," he said quietly when Dorian brought up the saarebas. Bull was not proud of what his people did to those born with access to the Fade; he knew why they did it, but after knowing other mages it was hard to imagine that fate. "I knew mages in the south, I just never slept with one before I met you. And even if Dalish could do that, she wanted nowhere near my dreams."

Bull shook his head. "Not really, no. Memories, sort of, but not a dream like that."

[propertool]

Bas saarebas. Dorian had heard himself referred to that way a few too many times in his life. Mostly by that weasely little viddathari who they'd met on the Storm Coast. Dorian was certain he would never stop being resentful toward the little blighter. He'd tried very hard to convince Bull to just let the Chargers be hewn down.

And apparently, he'd managed it. In Bull's timeline.

Dorian made a soft noise from his spot against Bull.

"When you say slept, do you mean it as a euphemism for carnal relation, or actual sleeping? Out of curiosity."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

Bull chuckled again. "Both," he said. "Unless sharing a camp with Dalish counts as sleeping together. Sleeping adjacent?" He kissed Dorian's hair. His voice was softer when he spoke next: "No, you were a first in many ways."

[propertool]

"Well. Whatever I seem to have on offer, it must have been enough to overcome your desire not to be in the same room as the mage from Tevinter."

Dorian pecked him on the lips.

"Or you were very good at noticing when someone was sniffing around you and you decided to throw caution to the wind on account of curiosity. Either way, I'm glad you made the move to say something. Whatever you were thinking back then, your confidence taught me something. To have a little in myself."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

"I'm used to fielding curiosity. Especially from humans." Krem had escorted away plenty of people that decided not to follow through after seeing an adult Qunari naked. Bull never forced anyone to stay.

"I liked teasing you. Then I liked talking to you. Seeing you naked was bonus after that." He leaned close to kiss Dorian again. "I thought we had some things in common... and I don't hate individual Vints, too exhausting."

[propertool]

"Sera says I'm not very Vinty, anyway." Dorian's mouth pulled up at the side. Both because Bull's little pejorative had stuck on with half the Inquisition, and because she'd been right. They'd all been right about him.

There'd been a time he almost found it insulting, the way they spoke of him like being different was what made him tolerable. He still loved his country. But they were right. He'd been born ... different. Different didn't always fare well in Tevinter. Tevinter preferred things to work by tradition. It was why they were so friendly with the Dwarves.

"I did want to see you naked very badly."

Dorian darted his eyebrows at Bull.

"I was not disappointed. As it turns out, I like a huge rack much more than I always thought I did."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

"You are very Tevinter in a lot of ways," he insisted. "And in others... not. Your penchant for embracing change, for one. Even if you complain about it loudly to make up for your acceptance." Bull smiled and tenderly rubbed Dorian's neck.

The huge rack commented startled a louder laugh out of him and Bull tried to quiet himself down. He didn't want to wake the neighbors.

"Why did you come in the first place? I know you were a little drunk, but you had to have been thinking about it before that if that's where your mind went as soon as you let it."

[propertool]

"You mean aside from the fact that you were, despite being Qunari and honestly having a bit of a gas problem, the hugest, most rugged man I have ever had the pleasure of walking behind for miles?"

Dorian adjusted himself beside Bull so they could better meet eyes. His own shone in the darkened room.

"I wasn't sure we could do it. Or if we did, I wasn't sure we would all live through it. And I wanted ... before it was all over, I wanted to be with someone. It was never a fling for me. I wanted to be able to say I'd had someone of my own before I died."

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

Dorian's eyes were beautiful, even in the dark room. Bull held him, stared up at him like he was enthralled.

"Having anything of my own never meant much before I had the Chargers." But he'd been part of a group like that before, in the Bleeders and on Seheron before that. Dorian was different.

"And then I met you, kadan. I thought you'd be a fling," he admitted. Bull had been interested, but he didn't expect that Dorian would stay interested after his curiosity had been satisfied. He'd taken a small gamble. Bull brushed his fingertips along Dorian's cheek, following the cut of the bone beneath soft, well-cared-for skin. "I teased you about coming back, but then you did, like you owned the place."

Bull had been thrilled, and he had spent considerable energy hiding that, had spent a lot of time thinking about what that meant for him, as a Qunari, as Ben-Hassrath. But in the end, he'd been happy with Dorian. Whatever time they spent together, no matter where they'd been, he'd been happy. Even with all the demons and Venatori.

[propertool]

"I fell in love with you. The moment I admitted it to myself, my ancestors were rolling in their graves. Which honestly, just turned me on even more. There may be something wrong with me."

Dorian smiled, so broadly that it hurt. Because he did love Bull. They'd both taken a shot in the dark, and they'd somehow, blindly fumbling, managed not to bung it all up in the end.

"And for the record, I had more things in your room than you did by the end of the month. I practically did own the place."

He held a finger up to Bull and then leaned over the side of the bed to dig into the pocket of his trousers, which were folded neatly on the nightstand on his side.

Dorian pulled out a fancily embroidered little pouch.

"I could?"

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

Bull knew Dorian came from a different place, one in which he'd become Tal-Vashoth. He didn't want to think about where he had come from: a place where he'd fallen in love with Dorian, and was painfully aware of his loyalty to the Qun. His fear of the day when those two things might clash.

Then he'd come to Darrow. Maybe it was a reprieve. Dorian's smile erased the anguish that threatened to bubble up and Bull drank in the sight of him. He was only distracted by the bag; he looked at it. "Could what? Are we back to you coming into my dreams?"

[propertool]

"Literally and figuratively, if possible, yes. You have to admit you're curious. I heard you gabbing with Solas way back when about his admittedly kind of creepy habit of just Fadewalking every spare moment."

Dorian looked at Bull very seriously for a moment.

"You might even remember it all on waking. You already know you're in the Fade when you're dreaming, Bull. Wouldn't you like some company for once?"

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

"You know I've been afraid of being possessed by a demon since childhood, right?" In his memory, Dorian had been out in the field with them when Cole revealed that gem of a memory.

There was something tempting, he couldn't deny that. The idea of having Dorian in his dreams, the hope that they would be pleasant. He wondered if Dorian was aware of his bad dreams, even on the nights he slept quietly.

[propertool]

"The Fade reflects your emotional state. There won't be any demons, if I can make you feel good. A demon is one thing, but are you so frightened of a spirit of Love? Pleasure? Devotion?" All were things Dorian felt toward Bull. All were things he believed Bull returned.

"One of these days we're going to have a good, long talk about that fear of yours. But not tonight. Maker knows neither of us want to taint the mood that way."

He kissed Bull, in a way he hoped got across how much it would mean to him. There was an entire half of Dorian's life that was totally peripheral to Bull almost all of the time. The Fade was Dorian's Qun, in a way.

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

"You said there was a nightmare somewhere," he said, sounding a bit uncertain. Those spirits all sounded nice, and he thought of Cole, ostensibly a spirit of compassion. Bull also knew what lived in his own mind, never mind what lurked in the Fade beyond it. He didn't want to taint this.

He kept his eye open during the kiss, holding Dorian close. When they parted again, he stroked back Dorian's hair, studying his face. It was impossible not to see how badly he wanted this. Bull hadn't been raised to trust magic the way Dorian did. But, eventually, he nodded.

"We can try," he said. "I don't know how to control my dreams... I do have nightmares." He wasn't trying to talk Dorian out of it. He just wanted to... warn him, or something.

[propertool]

"I do. You don't get to be a full Enchanter without knowing your way around a demon. And being smart and strong enough to take it out of the equation."

He wasn't exactly some naive Ferelden brat not very bright up top, just waiting for the Templars to decide he deserved Tranquility.

"I will be as gentle as I can. I will stop the moment you ask me to, or the moment anything seems out of the ordinary."

It was the usual promise. And Dorian meant it.

Dorian took the bottle of water he kept by the bed off the nightstand and, carefully, trickled the very smallest amount of the powder in the pouch into it. It swirled through the liquid, quickly turning it a deceptively pretty glowing blue.

[shok_ebasit_hissra]

Bull had been in the Fade bodily once, but going there in his dreams was different. But he trusted Dorian; he trusted him with his life on the battlefield. How was this any different?

"What do I do?" he asked while Dorian poured some of the lyrium into the water. He'd never had lyrium, never really been near it before coming to the south.